Change usually happens gradually over a period of time. There are very few times in my life that I can look back to as a point of change. Im not saying that there were not times in my life that heralded change. I am saying there were few times that I rose to the occasion. With that being said, there is one time in my life that I knew at the moment it occurred that I had changed forever. The birth of my first child changed the way I view myself, my future, and the little things in life.
The most immediate change was the change to my self. I went into the hospital a person stuck in childhood, and concerned with the frivolous things that youth deems important. I was, as most teenagers are, immature and selfish. However, the second my daughter was born the entire fiber of my being was morphed into a mother. I was suddenly capable of the type of selflessness that only a mother is. I had more confidence, as I found that having a child left me impervious to the opinions of others. I remember thinking that if Buddha had been a woman he would not have had to quest so hard for the inner peace found with enlightenment. I emanated love, hope, and generosity. Perhaps what I felt was not enlightenment, but I had found my bliss on this planet.
The second change was my view of my future plan for myself. I had my future mapped out with no time for mistakes or missteps. Mistakes were for novices, and in order to save myself precious time I would learn from the mistakes of others. In my plan I went to college, joined the Peace Corps, went back to college, and finally worked as a conservation biologist with a concentration on Pantera tigris, commonly known as the tiger. I had no time for a family, and no desire to be held down by a house and bills. My only true desire was to be free. Lucky for me we dont choose the mistakes we make. With the birth of my daughter these aspirations were permanently put to rest. Even though, it had been a constant companion of mine throughout my life; I hardly mourned the death of my plan. I had to choose a plan that would work with a family. My new plan of being a writer offers me a different type of freedom. It offers me the freedom to be held down by my family, and I couldnt be happier.

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